dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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