Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
