how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
