My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
