I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I had to cum in my sink.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
