Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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