My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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