I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
