Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
