biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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