Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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