I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
