Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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