That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
