After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
