im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
