; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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