I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
