Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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