I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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