Can i not drive my cunt home
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i can't believe i had my finger in that
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
