I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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