So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
