i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
no you cant smoke seaweed
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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