Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
