how can u be prego again
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
