I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
