Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
