I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We left an ass print on the piano.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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