can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
