yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
