i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
