so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
