Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
