her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
