I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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