sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We need to rekindle our bromance
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
