New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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