She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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