it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i dont even know how to be here
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
