i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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