I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
