you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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