I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
