dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
