Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
