can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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