Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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