I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
