I wanna passion pit in your ass
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
